She may have been the most adorable golden-haired pre-school girl I had seen in a while. She quickly corrected me and said, “I’m red-haired and not golden” and after a little pause, said “maybe I’m more like golden-red”.

Her mother was pleasant too but very anxious. She explained the same symptoms the resident stated but then had more. She said her daughter had been mentioning her  friend’s brother who she met at her father’s place touched her private part and put an object inside about 1 week ago. Mother had brushed it off as one of the things she makes up and because of her age, didn’t believe her. But now that she had symptoms, she didn’t know if this actually happened and if the object was causing harm.

My examination was no different from my trainee’s, she had some redness in her vaginal area but had no signs of injury and I didn’t see any object. That wasn’t conclusive for anything though. She may have an irritation from the frequent bubble baths mother gives her; may have had a small object placed in her vagina as she had claimed but it wasn’t visible to my limited exam; or and she may have been touched  or assaulted too. It’s hard to differentiate based on just symptoms and examination. Genital exams after sexual abuse or assault don’t tell you the whole story and the belief of an intact hymen ruling out a sexual assault is just a myth. 

All I knew is that I still had multiple differential diagnoses, of which a urinary tract infection was already low on my list because her urine was not suggestive of it.

The ‘supposed’ quick visit had taken a turn for a prolonged visit with repeat genital examinations, social work involvement and gynecology evaluation. And all we ended up with was an anxious mother, a young girl with vaginal pain and pain with urination; a history of possibly being touched by a younger or older male child; no objects seen in the vagina but a suspision for scenarios as mild as vaginitis or as serious  as sexual assault.

She was referred to clinic and child protective services for further investigation and evaluation to know if this actually happened. If it truly did, we may never know.

The fact is: children continue to be exposed to dangerous situations of sexual assault and abuse- and females may be more at risk than males. We have to pay close attention to our kids to make sure they don’t become victims of events that will negatively impact their lives forever. 

In most situations, offenders are known to the child; they may be family members, relatives, friends, teachers, coaches, babysitters, and others in positions of authority. 

Here are some things to do to protect your child:

• Be careful about people you allow around you child. The safety of your child should always be a priority
• Teach your child(ren) the name of the genitals just as you teach them other body parts, Being aware of the right names and teaching them it shouldn’t be touched by anyone empowers them and helps them tell you clearly if they get touched inappropriately or anything else happens
• Teach children early and often that there are no secrets between children and their parents, and that they should feel comfortable talking with their parent about anything — good or bad, fun or sad, easy or difficult.
• Never discredit your child’s report of an event. If in doubt, take your child to a specialist who is trained to do these investigations and examinations
• Ask your child often if he or she feels safe

 Let our priority be the safety of our kids, One dangerous encounter may change their lives forever.

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